• Share on Google+

I have invented the best way to prepare/serve watermelon. End of paragraph.

I say I invented this method of watermelon preparation because I’ve never seen it before. I also say it’s the best method because it’s the ideal balance between looks (presentation), eating (mouth-feel), and speed (speed). Some existing methods, melon balls for example, have a great mouth-feel when you eat them, but they take a long time to make, require a special tools, are fiddly, and waste much of the watermelon. The cut-a-quarter-wedge-and-slice-it-into-1cm-sections method uses all the watermelon, is fairly quick, but you get small sections on the ends and larger sections in the middle (who the hell wants to deal with that?) Cutting the rind off completely is too time consuming. So on and so forth down the hierarchy of watermelon preparation methods.

My method is super-quick, looks great!,[1. insert commexclamation right here] gives you a uniform and eye-catching shape, is easy and satisfying to eat, uses all the watermelon, and even puts the rind to good use as something to hold on to. The best part is you can use my method (free of charge) to win friends and influence people. This shit might even get you laid!

I’ll stop ranting and put my video where my mouth is. Behold!

Yeah, I know. Thank me later.

Watch it on Vimeo.

  • Reply
    Author
    Michelle

    Bart!

    a) beautiful, beautiful video. Beautiful.
    b) THAT’S HOW I CUT MY WATERMELON!
    c) mmmmwatermelon.

  • Reply
    Author
    Barto

    Michelle!

    b) Yeah, of course… that’s how you cut your watermelon now…

  • Reply
    Author
    Goog.

    Bwahahahah its funny! im convinced!

    • Reply
      Author
      Barto

      You’re convinced ‘cos you know I’m right. It’s the BEST way to serve watermelon.

  • Reply
    Author
    mcgauz

    bahaha fecking awesome! Good choice of music too ;)

  • Reply
    Author
    Aga

    I’d like to run a quick survey – hands up who got laid as a result of this A*M*Z*I*N*G technique?
    ;-)

    xo Aga

  • Reply
    Author
    Aga

    sorry… I meant: A*M*A*Z*I*N*G…whoops ;-)

  • Reply
    Author
    Barto

    I think people are still blown away at the moment — it
    s only been a few days. The sex’ll come…