‘Twas the night before Webstock


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‘Twas the night before Webstock, when through the hostel
The nerds were arriving, a’stirring, and well…
…Just geeking it up and charging their phones,
Connecting their Macs to the free wifI zones.

The first Webstock workshop starts promptly at nine
But at 8am there’s the registration line
It’s getting late, must turn in, get some sleep,
Tomorrow’s a big day, set that alarm with the beep.

The sun she did rise, but the alarm clock was dead,
Had to get dressed, leave the room, and get fed.
Forgot to charge iPhone, a mistake I did make,
A sign of things to come? I hope not, for fuck’s sake.

I made registration just barely, thank God
Dude in line next to me, white headphones, iPod,
“How grouse is Webstock?” the dude did implore
“Dunno.” I replied, “…never Webstocked before”

“It’s grouse!” he did say, I said “You mean ‘choice!'”
“We’re in New Zealand, not Melbourne, rejoice!”
“Dude, you’re a weirdo” he said with disdain,
popped in his headphones, span ’round once again.

Sat down just in time, mind focused and dutiful,
McCandless on How To Make Your Info Beautiful.
Informative graphics gives me a tingle
Down in my nethers, oh shit! Have to mingle :(

“C’mon, let’s get up!” Jamjar said at the break
“…meet some like minds, and besides, they’ve got cake!”
“I think I’ll stay here” I said, “I’ll hold the fort”,
“If anything happens just tweet your report“.

I thought of my cards, I shouldn’t just sit,
I should be out networking, chatting, and shit
I’ve never been good at that, why’d I start now?
Job opportunities, new people, new friends, holy cow!

Jamjar was right! I must get up and meet
New people, new friends, new geeks. On my feet!
Hand out some soap-scented cards, that’s the trick,
People will love that! I’ll make new friends quick!

Info is Beautiful did run the whole day
My tingling continued, but I kept it at bay.
It’s time now for dinner, pronounce all the clocks
Her plane would have landed, where is she? Where’s Fox?

“I’m here, and I’m hungry!” Fox calls through the crowd,
“Radstix!” I say, well, I yell it quite loud!
“Did you just say ‘Radstix’?” says a familiar voice,
“It’s New Zealand you dork, you gotta say ‘CHOICE’!”

The moral of this story is… well, there are two,
First: when in Rome do as the Romans do.
The second is: I really should if I can,
Leave the rhyming and stories to Oliver Mann.

  • Michelle
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    Michelle Michelle

    when in Rome .. GOLD <== equiv. in AU of "choice" in NZ

  • Barto
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    Barto Barto

    Please explain? In NZ, they call Australia Rome?

  • Michelle
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    Michelle Michelle

    In that Aussie song they sing “..But no matter how far or how wide I Rome, I still call Australia home.” and “I realise something that I’ve always known, I still call Australia Rome.”